Heaven, Hell and the Empire

Imagine you’re in hell. The devil has been torturing you day in, day out, for years. Every year, he finds a new way to torture you that’s even worse than the last. You don’t deserve it, you just ended up there.

Then, one day, all of a sudden, you find yourself in heaven, being granted bountiful goodness by Angels. You want a foot massage? You got it. Is there another beer in the fridge? Of course there is! It’s great. 

So a few years of this go by, and someone says “Hey my buddy, Satan, is down on his luck, want to go cheer him up?”

I’ve been a Sox fan in New York since 1998. I lived through 2003. There’s just no fucking way i feel bad for the Yankees.